The Nude Nutritionist by Lyndi Cohen

Author:Lyndi Cohen
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Allen & Unwin
Published: 2018-01-03T16:00:00+00:00

COMPARISON IS A habit, AND ALL HABITS CAN BE broken

Self-sabotage

Chances are you’re a self-saboteur and you don’t realise it. Can’t attain that longstanding goal? You may be self-sabotaging. Self-sabotage is when you delay achieving a certain goal (perhaps the goal feels too hard, confronting, boring) by engaging in another behaviour that ultimately distracts you from the underlying challenge. Some forms of self-sabotage include procrastination, self-medication (taking drugs, drinking alcohol, smoking) and emotional eating. Being a self-saboteur can make you feel like you’re stuck, postponing the inevitable, not really dipping a toe into the unknown because it’s too scary.

Are you avoiding emotions? It’s much easier to push feelings aside instead of sitting down with yourself and getting to know what’s aching inside. But you’re really just kicking the can down the road, delaying the pain; and the longer it’s left, the harder it gets. It’s time to tackle those emotions.

Acknowledging you’re self-sabotaging is step one. Step two is getting help.

Reduce your goals. Do you dream of exercising four to five days a week? Huge goals can be paralysing because they feel too hard and overwhelming. Break down the goal. Does exercising two or three days a week feel more doable? Give yourself a long time to accomplish your goals.

Embrace small progress. The little things really do add up to make something big happen. Reward yourself for any progress, however small. You procrastinate or avoid emotions because the short-term motivation outweighs the long-term gratification. By embracing small wins, you make the long-term game more enticing and the whole process is less daunting.

Feel the feels. As long as your feelings stay at arm’s distance, you’ll be in neutral, not going or coming. Feeling emotions like anger doesn’t mean you’ll start yelling at the convenience store clerk. In fact, by acknowledging and processing your feelings, you may be less vulnerable to emotional outbursts. A psychologist or counsellor will be able to help you work through the emotions you’re avoiding.

Feeling judged: by yourself and others.

We all judge. I judge people who walk or drive too slowly in front of me. I judge people who always run late. But mostly, I judge myself. The good news? I am aware of my judgments, and this gives me power because when you have awareness, you can make a change. Noticing when you make judgments can empower you to act and think differently and this can free you from feeling guilty and judging yourself.

Judgement is another form of numbing out the feeling, avoiding emotions. We often judge others more when we are not feeling good, when we feel vulnerable and, specifically, we judge them on the things we feel vulnerable about. People who are truly content with who they are rarely feel the need to judge others.

The more judgment we receive, the more we learn how to judge. Social media is based on judgements – like or not like. Share or not share. Comment or no comment. When you notice you are being judgmental, make a life pivot so you can divert your energy to something else.

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